I thought the best way to celebrate your birthday was to drag my ass out of bed for breakfast. Wow, passing up sleep in honor of your birthday, you must be special! Demand attention all day long because it is your day and the tiara gives you that power!
Last week, Jen and I went down to West Plains, MO to visit our friends Laura and Freddie. They’ve moved from St. Louis to Springfield, MO and now to the tiny town of West Plains, population 10,000, to open a new Enterprise branch. While there isn’t much to do there, the real reason of our visit was to see our friends and to psyche ourselves up for the cruise (less than two weeks!). MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
When not chatting about the cruise or playing dominos, we managed to get in some shopping, see Mammoth Springs, Arkansas (the tenth largest spring in the world) and take on some all you can eat catfish and walleye. Yum!
In the end, our weekend was a success. We’re super stoked for the cruise and still reeling from the fried fish. It just goes to show that good friends can make even the tiniest, most boring town fun!
Thursday night, as Bob and I were leaving to go golfing, I happened to look at the side of my carport where we keep our bikes and holy crap! My bike was gone! I couldn’t believe it! Some punk-ass shit kid probably stole my bike and is now trying to sell it on Ebay! Or it could be the people who go around stealing trash. The sad part about this whole situation is that I don’t remember the last time I saw my bike. The bike could have been gone for days, even weeks. But at least the robber left the bottle water that was in the holder for over a year. How thoughtful.
Saturday morning, Bob and I went over to Donna’s to attend a real live auction. I had never been to one and she loves going to them because you can get some fun things for cheap. And plus, at this particular one, they were going to auction off the house. Omigod! This woman had so much junk, it was unbelievable! We are talking about six large trailers full of stuff, you name it, she was selling it. Just to name a few things: Coca-Cola memorabilia, Precious Moments, Hummels, empty bottles, lots and lots of crock bowls, scary dolls, old books, Smurf glasses, ashtrays, old utensils, ratty quilts, jars, I even saw an old empty Dreft detergent box. I haven’t even listed all the furniture, as well as stuff for horses and farm equipment. She had enough stuff to scatter around the 4.9 acres she was auctioning off.
Yes, the auctioneers do speak very quickly, in that repetitive manner. And yes, if you do make any sudden movements, they will consider that as a bid. As you know, I tend to be fidgety and there were quite a few times the auctioneer counted my movements as part of the bidding war. Thank God people followed my bids or else I would have ended up with a saddle, a large seed cabinet, a box of nails or a Talking Tessie. But I did end up winning something, on purpose, too. They were auctioning off two bags of Christmas decorations for $1. No one wanted them, so they threw in some mini-blinds, still no takers. Then I heard that a rug was included so I said, “What the hell?” and raised my hand. I won! For $2! I was so excited that I got something, I ran up to the trailer. But surprise, apparently I did not hear that a 7-foot Christmas tree was added! What a deal! I wonder what I am going to do with another Christmas tree.
At noon, the auction turned to the house. Let me fill you in about this house. It is about 5000 square feet, wrap-around porch, in-ground pool, stables, two-car garage plus another 4-car garage with a loft, five bedrooms, seven bathrooms all sitting on about five acres. You are surrounded by cornfields. I was dying to know how much something like that would go for in Columbia, IL. It ended up that the owner accepted the bid for $627,500. I thought it seemed low but Chris thought the winner was paying too much for it. Who knows?
So, my thoughts about the auction. It was amazing to see what people would buy and how much they were willing to pay for it. I couldn’t believe some of the prices but what do I know? Donna said that a lot of people who come to auctions are antique dealers or resellers. The prices they pay now are nothing to what they will charge in their stores. It’s craziness. I guess it is true: what is someone’s junk is another’s treasure. After seeing that, it still won’t make me keep empty Coke cans, dishes, bottles, ugly pieces of furniture or ratty old blankets in hopes that in 50 years, it’ll be worth something.
In honor of today’s movie, let me remind you that sometimes, you really do have some motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane.