Surprisingly, I did not have the urge to want to poke my eyeballs out with a red hot poker this year. The people who attended the meeting tonight were actually calm, diplomatic and rational (it may be due to the fact that the “crazies” didn’t show up). We did have one crotchety old man, the know-it-all of the neighborhood, who felt that he had to belittle every comment/suggestion that was said. The usual topics were brought up: how to punish those who did not pay their annual assesment (being drawn and quartered was high on the list), neighborhood clean-up and lack of involvement (how does one become involved when one is not notified of such dates and times?), teen vandalism and loitering (those fucking kids, go somewhere else to get high, have sex and tear shit up, I have an impressionable puppy and I just hate you all) and speeding through Meadowside (I have no idea what they’re talking about since I don’t live in the back part of the neighborhood so I really didn’t care). All in all, not a bad experience.
Where are the kids getting high, having sex an tearing shit up? Not like outside your house right?
They are occupying the area around the tennis courts, in that mini-parking lot and probably the woods across the street. Not anywhere near the house, thankfully.
I recommend keelhauling them. You tie a rope around their waist, run it under the boat (did I mention this was a piratey punishment?) and then pull from the other side.