The Budding Artist

A couple of weeks ago, Jesse, Kim, Katie and I went down to Glazed and Confused to paint ceramic objects. Last year, I made a little ornament with a penguin on it for Bob for Christmas with “Merry Linux 2005″ on the back of it. For you non-geeks, Linux is an operating system and its mascot is a penguin, therefore, since Bob is a geek, I thought he would appreciate it. And he did. (And for me to know what Linux is and actually make something geeky like that for him makes me either the most awesome wife in the world or a very, very sad and geeky girl.)

This year, I decided to create an ornament with Kuma on it:

Kuma Ornament

Kuma with Antlers

Isn’t that uncanny? Man, do I have talent or what?

Okay, so the real story is this: I saw a stencil of this animal with antlers and immediately thought it looked like a dog with antlers, hence, Kuma. It was so cute and I kept referring to it as Kuma as I was drawing it onto my ornament. Halfway through painting it, I think I realized that this was not really a dog with antlers, but a reindeer. I asked the girls, “Is this supposed to be a reindeer?” They had all assumed that I thought it was a reindeer and was converting it to a dog. Jeez, any normal person would have looked at the stencil and said reindeer, but no, not me. I swear, sometimes I just don’t know how I function in society. Oh well, so, after a little adjustments to the “hoofs” so they look like paws, it really became Kuma.

Jesus Freak

Jehovah’s Witnesses have become smarter over the years. Instead of coming to your door and having it slammed in their faces, they now trap you in enclosed spaces, areas where you cannot escape easily. Yes, I’m talking about the elevator.

The other day, I walked into the elevator and pushed P4 to go to my car. The only other person in the elevator was this woman, 40ish. So, I smiled and struck up a conversation about how beautiful the weather was. Big, big mistake. Why must I be friendly to everyone? Somehow the conversation segued into her handing me a pamphlet and telling me how at peace she is ever since she let Jesus into her heart. She now feels Jesus’s love surround her and I should let Him into my heart and have him forgive my sins. What did I do? I smiled and nodded and looked up at the numbers 5…4…3…2…, damn, doesn’t this elevator go faster? Finally, it reached her floor and she got off but not before she gave me a hug and told me, “Jesus loves you. He would like for you to return to His flock.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I had to go home and shower immediately. This is about the time when I should have said, “Death to the table eaters!”

The Voting Experience

Bob and I exercised our civic duty last night and walked up to St. Richards School with Kuma to vote. One would think that after years and years and years of elections, the people who run the polling sites would have the system down to a science. Get everyone in and out in the quickest time possible. Alas, that was not the case with us. Here is the breakdown:

Walk from home to polling site: 7 minutes
Receive voting ticket: 3 minutes (there was one person in front of me)
Stand in line to sign in: 10 minutes (there were only two people ahead of me)
Stand in line to vote with paper voting: 5 minutes (there was one person in front of me)
Vote: 30 seconds
Place ballot in ballot box: 10 seconds
Stand outside with the dog while Bob voted and watched voters insult the volunteers outside: 25 minutes
Walk from polling site to home: 7 minutes

Now there was a newfangled device that was offered as an alternative for voters: the electronic touch screen. After signing in, you could choose to vote electronically or with a paper ballot. Let’s see: electronic voting (20 people in line while the five screens were occupied) or paper voting (zero people in line and five booths occupied). Hmm, that’s a hard decision, I have to think about it. As much as I enjoy new technology, I was thinking on how to get out of there the quickest. Now that I have voted, I have every right to complain about all the stupid people who run our country and all their stupid decisions. That’s really the only reason why I vote.