Speaking of Neighbors…

The neighbor next door to us is crazy. Not the one with Mickey, but on the other side of us. There was an incident a couple of weeks ago that just really solidified our opinions of her. In order for you to understand the insanity, I have to take you back three years ago.

When we first moved into the house, Sam had come into town to stay with us for a couple of days and we wanted him to be able to park in front of our house. We had noticed that our neighbor’s daughter’s car was always right in front, she never pulled forward enough for us to adequately park. So, one night, around 6:30ish, Bob goes over to the neighbor’s house to ask if she could move her car a few feet. Well, 5 minutes later, Bob comes scurrying back to the house, pissed-off. She had told him to go away, even after he had announced who he was (we had met her a couple of times) then she threatened to call the police if he didn’t go away. Needless to say, she did call the police and he heard her claim that he was a Peeping Tom. WTF? Okay, after he told me all of that, we called one of our trustees because we had no idea what the hell was going on. The trustee arrived about the same time as the police and we told them what happened. So the police went up there and explained it to the loony that Bob wasn’t peeking through the front door window, he just happens to be THAT TALL! Who would want to see a naked 50ish-year-old woman anyways? And what was she doing running around the house naked? Long story short, the police apologized, the trustee apologized and we didn’t speak to neighbor lady for an entire year. Until she apologized.

Back to the present. She comes knocking on our door this time asking if we had seen or heard anything suspicious either late in the evening or very early in the morning. As you all know, Kuma, not the best guard dog. She doesn’t even greet us at the door anymore if she’s sleeping and the only thing she actually does bark at are squirrels and raccoons. Definitely not at people. Apparently, she claims that someone has been spilling blood on her front steps and this is the second incident. It’s dark magic, bad voo-doo. Yep, she said it and believed it. And here I am thinking, oh, I don’t know, maybe it could have been a woodland creature dragging its kill away, or spilled paint. Lady, no one is out to get you. Geez, didn’t we go over this three years ago? Again, the police was called, she demanded a lab be sent out to analyze it.

Moral of the story: Know your neighbors. You want to know who lives around you just in case you need to keep one eye open when you sleep.