Jackasses on the Highway

So tonight, we went and picked up Jen’s mom and sister en route to dinner at a new hibachi & sushi place in St. Charles. Unfortunately, the freezing rain had iced over all the bridges to the white county and traffic was completely snarled. We thought we’d be smart and bypass 70 to go up to 370. Unfortunately, it turns out that 370 was closed due to an accident, so the whole highway was jam packed from the river almost to the Mills.

Most of the people in the traffic jam were pretty cool. We sat in traffic for about an hour until we got to the Earth City Expressway. We were almost there and other people were trying to merge over and these two hoosiers in a red Camaro (naturally) were trying to bully their way into the right lane. First, they tried to get in front of us. When it seemed apparent that we wouldn’t let them in, they rolled down the windows and tried to reason with us verbally. Now, I don’t know about the rest of you, but when someone starts a conversation with me with the words “Hey asshole!”, the likelihood of them receiving a satisfactory outcome approaches zero.

After yelling at us for a while (and us responding with laughter and inching closer and closer to the car in front of us, they moved up and tried to yell at the lady in front of us. She yelled back and basically told them to fuck off. So then they gunned it and tried to move up, as a gap had appeared while they were berating us. Of course, in traffic, where there’s a gap, there are people who want to fill it. A Ford F250 changed lanes right then, sideswiping the bitchin’ Camaro. They stopped and the two assholes got out and started yelling at the F250, cursing, threatening the driver, and telling him to get out of his car.

Just then, a dude in a West Coast Choppers hoodie runs up and starts yelling at the Camaro douchebags. He pulls a gun out and flashes a badge at them, and that got them to shut up quick. We’re assuming he’s an off duty cop. Either way, it was pretty awesome and the best use of firearms this year. So this guy got the douchebags to shut up, pull over to the side and wait for the cops. Their camaro was banged up and their probably going to get a ticket for causing the accident.

So yeah. That was exciting. We bailed on trying to go to St. Chuck, got off on Earth City Expressway and called Imo’s for a pickup. Dinner plans thwarted, but we still got to see a show.